Just One Shot
by Livin In Sin
Summary: In which Ban introduces the group to Jagermeister, Emishi wears his heart on his sleeve, Himiko has sharp elbows and Akabane is drunk proof. Props to Sasukelover 4eva for inspiring the Afterword. Rated T just 'cause.


**Alternate Summary: A procession of pop culture references and fluff held together with string and Jagermeister.**

**Afterword inspired by Sasukeluva 4eva's Memoirs of Doctor Jackal, because we all know he keeps a journal. Thank's for the inspiration Sasuke.  
**

**For the duration of this FanFic the reader should assume that Jackal is making this face: :3 For no particular reason other than that it will probably give you a giggle.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GetBackers, its associated characters, locations or plots.  
**

**Warnings: EN for Extremely Nonsensical, SC for So Cute it'll make your eyes bleed and for slight Kazuki/Juubei cuteness, because even for someone who doesn't write yaoi (or even pairings for that matter) I've gotta admit that Kazuki introduces an agreeable sense of homoeroticism to any situation he happens to be in.**

GetBackers

Just One Shot

'Okay, so we're agreed, no eating, no chasers and no vomiting, last man standing takes the pot.' Ban had his hand on the table grasped around a shot of Jagermeister, Shido and Akabane sat across from him similarly equipped and in the next booth Kazuki, Juubei and Emishi all registered their approval. Akabane and Shido simply nodded. Paul and Natsumi stood at attention by each table to give refills. 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

Soft clinks reverberated around the Honky Tonk as glasses met and were quickly emptied. 'My,' Akabane exclaimed as he quaffed his shot, 'I was hesitant at first, but I must say I find this quite agreeable.'

'I still don't get how the big bad Dr Jackal got through life without taking even a little drink.'

'Not everyone is as deviant as you y'know, snake for brains.' Shido was already slugging back his second shot as he finished, Ban held his glass up for a refill.

'That a challenge there, monkey boy?'

'So what if it is?' Shido and Ban were already up and nose to nose when Akabane pushed his glass between them for another refill.

'Perhaps we could settle this argument with the task at hand, hm?' Ban couldn't tell whether it was the booze getting him early, but Akabane's smile seemed creepier than usual. Another couple of shots in and it looked as though Emishi was going to be first to go. He was standing in the cubicle, threatening to fall on an unimpressed looking Juubei and slurring like a drunken sailor.

'I gotta shay I jush think you guys are the besht. Shpecially you Shido... **hic**... I jush fffff-feel ash though I can be myshelf around you guysh and shtill be able t' shmile.' He raised his glass in a toast. 'I jush wanna shay, here's to the Limitlesh Fortressh where we all met.' As all the glasses in the room raised in appreciation of his toast, Emishi plummeted back into his seat, slumped his head down on the table and did not move.

Natsumi made to see if he was okay, but Ban stood up and waved her away, raising his glass again as he spoke. 'Leave the wounded, we'll go on without him.' As he tipped his head back for another shot he slumped back down into his seat himself and slammed the shot glass back to the table.

Akabane it seemed, couldn't help but break into a smile. 'Oh my, it seems you can be quite ruthless under the right circumstances, my dear recoverer.'

'Feeling the effects already, eh Midou?' Shido took another shot, adamant that he would keep up with Ban.

'You wish, Shido. It's not the booze that's got me wobbling, it's the smell comin' offa you.'

'Oh yeah!'

'Hell yeah!'

Akabane cleared his throat in protest of the stupidity and they continued drinking. Meanwhile in the other booth, Kazuki had come over all giggly and keep on threading Emishi's hair through his fingers. 'I just never noticed before how beautiful a condition Emishi keeps his hair in. If we'd met him back then he might have made a fair to decent candidate to join up with Fuuga-ahaha.'

'You're sure you're okay Kazuki?' Juubei had made his concern clear right from the start, true to form he had seemed unaffected no matter how much he drank. 'You've not had too much?'

'Oh, Juubei, don't be too concerned for me. At least try to enjoy yourself.'

'You guys get even gayer by the minute,' Ban started. 'Glad you're in a booth of your own or I'd have been sick by now.'

'Whatever, Midou,' Juubei dismissed him. 'You kissed a guy.'

Ban's eyebrows shot up and his jaw clenched, Kazuki broke out with another fit of the giggles while Shido could just manage to speak through his laughter. 'I almost totally forgot about tha-hahaha! Good thing we never invited Toshiki or snake for brains might not be able to control himself.'

Thankfully for Ban, the door opened, they all twisted their heads. That didn't stop the GetBacker from complaining though. 'Hey Paul! This was meant to be a lock in! What's with leaving the door open!'

Whatever Paul was going to say in riposte was lost as Himiko strode in from the streets and quite happily joined Ban on his side of the booth. 'So, is it too late to join in?'

Ban drunkenly leaned his elbow on top of her head. 'So you wanna come play with the big boys, huh Himiko?'

'Speak for yourself, Midou,' Juubei added from the other table, Kazuki, Shido and Himiko all started out laughing. Without removing his elbow from Himiko's head he pointed his free hand in at her in a desperate attempt to shift attention from himself.

'Himiko couldn't tie her own shoelaces until after- ack!' He shifted in pain as Himiko rammed an elbow into his ribs. 'What? What are you hitting me for! It's true!'

'Whatever, Ban! You kissed a guy!'

'If I may interject?' In the commotion, Akabane had gone almost forgotten by the room until he'd spoken up. 'Whether or not Midou-kun enjoyed his stolen moment with Uryuu-kun would be his own business I'd say and whether or not Lady Poison can tie her shoelaces is quite irrelevant as she appears to be wearing pumps.' He tossed back another shot and motioned for Paul and Natsumi to pour him and Himiko another.

So the drinking carried on... and on... and on and it appeared that Himiko could not hold her liquor nearly as well as she thought she could. Ban was again leaning on her head by this point if for no other reason than to annoy her. 'Say, you look like you're fading there Miss Big Bad Lady Poison. Wanna just concede defeat and we'll raise a round to yer good sportsmanship?'

'You -**hic- **wish, Ban.' All the confidence in the world though, couldn't stop her slumping against him to stay upright.

'Heh, thought I told ya already. Ya can't lean on me forever y'know?' His comment only prompted her to snuggle in closer to him.

Still, it looked as though Kazuki was in the worse condition as he kept on wobbling this way and that. Finally he gave a weak little laugh and tumbled out of the booth altogether, only to be caught by Juubei as he dove to the floor, what was strange was that they both stayed there laid down and unmoving. Curious, Paul strode over and picked something out of the acupuncturist's hand. 'Huh, well would you look at that...'

'D'aw, they look so cute,' Natsumi observed hugging an empty tray to her chest.

Ban craned his neck to look around Akabane's giant hat, much to Himiko's annoyance and to no eventual avail. 'What? Whas goin' on, Paul?' The older man crossed over to them and thumped the end of the needle into the end of the table in front of them.

Akabane was the first to speak up. 'Oh my, it seems young Juubei was manipulating his pressure points to keep himself sober. Then again, that wouldn't be against the rules would it?'

Ban was clearly outraged. 'Of course it would be! That kind of thing would be totally against the rules!'

'Oh dear me, well then it is to my shame that I must admit I've been manipulating my blood flow this entire time.' He raised his right hand which kept twisting and clenching. 'It's only this hand which is drunk I'm afraid to say.'

'I kinda wondered why you kept pinching me,' Shido admitted. 'I wasn't really sure I wanted to know though.'

Ban didn't take it nearly as well as Shido, shooting up out of the booth and disturbing Himiko who had all but been asleep at that point. 'Akabane you dirty bastard! Release your control now so we can have a fair battle!'

'I'd already done so when I say the look on your face, my dear GetBacker...' The transporter still seemed stone cold sober, sober as a judge and a bunch of other sobriety clichés to boot. Ban reseated himself. 'It would appear that Lady Poison has left the running.'

Shido glanced across Akabane to see Himiko curled up on the floor beside the booth, sound asleep. 'Hey sanke for brains, isn't she like 16 or something?'

'Nah, she's fine.'

Akabane sank another shot while all this was going on. 'It appears as Miss Himiko's business associate, I'll have a transportation job to take care of when we're all finished here.'

'Mean when you're finished here, Akabane!'

The final three kept on drinking like crazy, their arms working like pistons as they threw back shot after shot and with two servers to one table there was never any shortage. Ban's chin was an inch or so from the table, Shido was leaned back in his seat and holding onto it for dear life. Akabane was still beaming a smile.

'Shay Shido, why can't you jush give up already?'

'Say Mmmmmm-Midou, why can't you be good looking like mosht Germansh?'

'Not all off ush are blonde haired and blue eyed Aryan shtyled, y'know? Mosht of the Germansh I knew were rugged pragmatishts with shtrong work ethicsh.'

Shido elaborated something unintelligible before his head tipped back and he began snoring.

'Well Akabane, looksh ash though itsh jusht you an' me.'

The transporter touched a hand delicately to his forehead. 'Oh dear me, its seems this has begun to effect me.'

'Ha! I knew it from the shtart... you jush can't hold yer-' Ban was cut off as he head thudded audibly against the table.

'Well, it would appear the day is mine then.' After hopping nimbly over the unconscious Shido, Akabane headed to the counter where Paul had resumed reading his paper. 'And this grand mystery prize everyone's been clamouring for would be.'

Paul looked up over his paper and began fishing in his pocket. 'Oh, Emishi landed some free tickets to the comedy club MakubeX finally let him open in Lower Town, now where did I put those?'

'And how many would there happen to be?' Akabane raised an eyebrow as Paul waved a small book of tickets in front of him, more than enough for the GetBackers and Co. He sighed in amusement.

'I can at least give you the last bottle of Jagermeister. Hey Natsumi, go in the back and get the last one would you? You better bring some hot towels for these losers after that.' As Natsumi went into the back rooms Akabane scooped up Himiko and headed for the door.

'I'm afraid I must decline, I mustn't let my obligations as a transporter be clouded after all.' As he left Paul heard a squeal of amusement from the back rooms and happily didn't witness Akabane dropping Himiko and face planting as he passed the window.

As Paul entered the back rooms he scribbled out a bill for all the Jager he'd been made to buy and left it under Ban's elbow, he found Natsumi stood looking into the store room, smiling as broad as he'd ever seen. 'Soooo cute, chief.'

Paul eased the door open a little more to find Ginji curled up in its centre around an empty bottle of Jagermeister. He couldn't help but rub his temples. 'These guys are gonna be the death of me...'

* * *

Afterword by Dr Akabane Kuroudo~

_My Dearest Diary,_

_While at first I was hesitant, I must say I enjoyed myself most thoroughly. Unfortunately though I've come to the conclusion that I do not altogether enjoy alcohol as it has had some rather peculiar effects on me, not least of which being that I can't seem to stop making this face: :3_

_I would have liked to have seen Ginji-kun again, but both Midou-kun and Paul-san seemed adamant that he was not to drink. I do wonder why._

_Yours eternally,_

_Dr. Akabane Kuroudo MD_

_P.S ~ Miss Himiko seemed most surprised that I took the trouble to carry her all the way home, I do hope there was no bruising as a result of my lapse in concentration._

_P.P.S ~ I'ts been 48 hours and I still can't stop making that face. I think one of the bottles Paul was pouring from said to seek immediate medical attention if the condition persists for more than 72?_

_P.P.P.S ~ I wonder what I shall do with these tickets that Paul-san gave me? And at that, why was Haruki-kun in the contest if they were his to begin with?_

**_:3_**


End file.
